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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24666001">Corporeal Feelings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelBonez/pseuds/AngelBonez'>AngelBonez</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angel Wings, Angst, Body Horror, Canon Related, Canon-Typical Violence, Castiel Has Self-Worth Issues (Supernatural), Castiel's wings mimic his emotions, Chuck is mentioned, Dean Winchester Takes Care of Castiel, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gore, Grooming, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Chuck - Freeform, No Jack Kline, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Pining Castiel (Supernatural), Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Spoilers, Summary may change, Wing Grooming, Wingfic, Wings, body gore, descriptions of body horror, jack is ... dead, mentions of God - Freeform, title may change</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:13:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,360</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24666001</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelBonez/pseuds/AngelBonez</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Castiel suddenly appears in the Impala with corporeal wings that he quickly grows to hate. They're covered in ash, dirt, and lots of blood, and he really needs the Winchester's help (in more ways than one). </p><p>""Cas are you alright?" Sam piped in as he held up his hands with a shrug. He felt the uneasy air surround them and nearly swallow them whole. It tickled the back of both men’s necks, whispering unkind things in their ears as they heard a strained wet cough come from the phone followed by a long, gurgled groan.</p><p>Dean just glanced back at Sam with the same bothered expression before Castiel's deep voice cut through the speaker, "No." Castiel swallowed thickly. He needed assistance now. His body is still smoldering, heat pooling off his limbs as he leant against the ally wall. He pressed his forehead to the cool brick as he shuddered back a hiss before he instructed slowly, carefully, "Dean, I need to know exactly where you are right now." If Castiel so much as messes up minutely, he could very well kill himself with what he’s about to do, but he’s been left with no choice. He felt hot blood pool on his back and drip slowly down his spine."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel &amp; Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>112</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Corporeal Feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warning: description of blood, injury, and broken bones/dislocations</p><p>My first wingfic. I'm kinda obsessed with wings right now so this happened... I don't know anything about wing anatomy so I'm trying my best.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean steadily drummed his fingers along Impala's steering wheel to the beat of some Led Zeppelin while Sam quietly clicked away at whatever was on his phone. They were coming back from a hunt up in Nebraska and when Dean's phone rang from his pocket. He pulled a hand from the steering wheel before fishing it out of his pocket. <strong><em>Cas</em></strong> shone brightly on the caller ID and Dean half frowned as he shrugged towards Sam before answering, "Hey Cas, what's -"</p><p>"<em>Where are you</em>?" Castiel's voice seemed weak and breathless.</p><p>Dean sent Sam a worried look and turned the phone on speaker. His grip tightened on the steering wheel as he watched trees phase past them. Sam's lips twitched up in confusion as he reached out to turn the radio volume down. Dean held the phone in between them as he asked, "Just heading home from Nebraska. Where are you?"</p><p>He heard a huff on the other end of the line that he recognized so clearly to be a pained wheeze, and his brows furrowed as he pressed, "Cas? You okay?" He kept his eyes glued to the lines of the road as the sun began to fade in the skyline. </p><p>Soft purple and pink hues painted the sky as Castiel mumbled in that gritty tone, "I can't - <em>Agh</em> - I - where, <em>exactly</em>, are you?" Dean could picture Castiel’s head tilt and squinted eyes.</p><p>"Nebraska highway 89 -"</p><p>"You're <em>driving</em>?" Castiel let out a sound of exasperation and Dean could almost see Castiel shift his weight from one foot to the other. Anxiety began to pool in Dean's stomach. It pulled and twisted in his gut unforgivingly. Castiel was having way too many <em>accidents</em> lately for Dean’s liking, and it made him <em>worry</em>. Right now, something is wrong. He could hear it in Castiel's clipped sentences and the way he breathed forcefully though his nose.</p><p>Dean stuttered as his eyes darted across the road, his mind moving a thousand miles per minute as he tried to figure out who could have a bone to pick with Castiel <span class="u">now</span>, "Uh yeah -"</p><p>"Cas are you <em>alright</em>?" Sam piped in as he held up his hands with a shrug. He felt the uneasy air surround them and nearly swallow them whole. It tickled the back of both men’s necks, whispering unkind things in their ears as they heard a strained wet cough come from the phone followed by a long, gurgled groan.</p><p>Dean just glanced back at Sam with the same bothered expression before Castiel's deep voice cut through the speaker, "<em>No</em>." Castiel swallowed thickly. He needed assistance <em>now</em>. His body is still smoldering, heat pooling off his limbs as he leant against the ally wall. He pressed his forehead to the cool brick as he shuddered back a hiss before he instructed slowly, carefully, "Dean, I need to know <em>exactly</em> where you are <em>right now</em>." If Castiel so much as messes up minutely, he could very well kill himself with what he’s about to do, but he’s been left with no choice. He felt hot blood pool on his back and drip slowly down his spine.</p><p>Dean reeled back a little but mumbled a quiet, "O<em>kay…</em> Uh-" His eyes scanned the road for any landmark that could be useful, his brain not bothering to process why Castiel would need this information in the first place. Dean was too focused on the shaky breathing on the other end of the line and the way his pulse throbbed in his throat. Castiel needed help, and he would only demand such information on their whereabouts if it was vitally important. He subconsciously let up on the gas as he tried to focus on the task at hand. There was no time to picture whatever condition Castiel was in. Dean's eyes settled on a small sign on the side of the road and he spoke quickly, "Mile marker 193. We just passed a-" before Dean could finish his sentence his vision turned black and something was in his mouth sticking to his tongue. It tasted like blood and ash and felt soft as he spat and sputtered while he slammed on the breaks of the Impala, her low rumble drifting through the air as she sped to a stop with a halt. Dean felt his body lurch forward slightly and he could see light drifting through the spaces of whatever was blocking his view - he could feel that these - these <em>feathers</em> - He blinked frantically as he used his hands to bat at the things sticking to his face and in his mouth and he turned to Sam with wide eyes as he let out a distressed, "<em>What the hell</em>?!" </p><p>Sam looked just as startled and they both jumped when Castiel gurgled a slur from the back seat, "Hello Deann, ‘am." </p><p>The two men turned to face him and they were met with something that instilled terrible shock and awe. Dark wings folded along the interior on the Impala. They wrapped abnormally from behind Castiel around the sides of the car before invading the space of the windshield. Long dark feathers crumpled under the confinement of the metal vehicle. They stuck to Dean and Sam with the blood they were soaked in and Dean's heart leapt to his throat as he choked out a confused "Ca-" but he lost his breath as he watched blood trickle out the corner of a sheepish looking Castiel's mouth. </p><p>Castiel winced as he shifted, his wings shifting and smearing blood, black ash, and burnt feathers around the interior of Baby. </p><p>"What - what's <em>going</em> <em>on</em> - are these -" Sam stuttered as he glanced around the vehicle with wide eyes. </p><p>"My wings," Castiel interrupted. "I'm quite lucky I didn't sever them from the jump." Castiel's words were weak and thoughtful as blue eyes looked to the dark feathers crowding the three.</p><p>"<em>Sever</em>?" Dean repeated with wide eyes before holding his hand up and pushing at the feathers still rubbing against the side of his head. If it weren't for the caked blood and dirt and grime it may have <em>tickled</em>. "What the hell Cas?" Dean demanded as his fingers brushed against stark black feathers.</p><p>Castiel opened his mouth ready to explain when his face twisted with shocked fear as he felt Dean peel the sticky feathers from his face and he let out a strangled gasp when the back of his hand brushed against shattered bone. Castiel's heart wrenched as pain seared through him. He tried to pull away with futile effort, his wings pushing and bumping against the interior of the Impala forcefully as he pleaded, "<em>Don't</em> -"</p><p>Dean froze and before he could apologize Castiel reached out with such haste. Dean could hear the snapping of bone joints and the tearing of flesh as Castiel pressed his fingers to Sam and Dean's foreheads. Suddenly they were in the bunker's garage. Dean's stomach flipped as a million thoughts raced through his head while he peered at a now limp and hunched over Castiel. He was crumpled in the back seat of the Impala, his wings falling limp and heavy onto Sam and Dean.</p><p>"O<em>kay</em> -" Dean shuddered as he hesitantly held the wing off his head while turning to Sam before asking, "<em>What</em> -" he paused before gesturing to Castiel. They just freaking <em>teleported</em>. Castiel hasn't been able to do that for <em>years</em>. </p><p>Sam shook his head slowly as he mumbled back with confusion, "I don't… know." He too gentle held the feathers from his skin. His brows curled together as he tried to think of how this would even be possible. The last time the boys had the pleasure to see the ghostly shadow of Castiel’s wings, they were falling apart.</p><p>Dean nodded with a frown, "Great." He swallowed thickly, his eyebrows scrunched together as he scanned his eyes quickly over Castiel before calling out, "Cas?" He eyed the angel carefully, looking for any minute movement. The only response he got was the slight rise and fall of Castiel's chest as he wheezed in his unconscious form. Dean blinked at his surroundings. The way Castiel's wings cramped up the interior of the vehicle made him feel uneasy and claustrophobic. Dean looked at his brother before breathing, "We gotta get him <em>out</em> of here."</p><p>"What - you saw how he reacted and you <em>barely</em> touched his - his wing -"</p><p>"I know Sammy but <em>this</em>," Dean gestured to the now dented interior of the car from where Castiel had pulled away, "Isn’t better. These things need space, don't they?" Dean eyed the contorted wings. They were bent in ways he assumed to be unholy and wrong - <em>painful</em>. </p><p>"Okay - but how? He's not exactly awake right now to give us any pointers." Sam replied as worry pulled at his features. He was just as worked up as Dean, anxiety scratching at his skull and pulling on his lungs.</p><p>"They're wings. Kinda like a bird right? They should just… fold in?" Dean thought out loud, his tone hopeful. With careful concentration he turned to start fiddling with the wing. He slowly brought his fingers down to touch the sticky feathers. When Castiel remained motionless and unfazed, Dean threaded his fingers through the gore soaked wings until he found the top of the wing. Dean warily pushed the wing towards Castiel in hopes it'll just fold on its own. Dean ignored the loud creaking and popping of bones and muscle. After some odd maneuvering, he finally held the wing down in the back seat. </p><p>He was kneeling now in the front seat as Sam copied his movements with a grimace as he muttered, "Sorry Cas." </p><p>Dean was grateful for Castiel's lack of wakefulness as feathers broke and bent under the gentle grasp of he and his brother. Once Sam folded Castiel's wing down to the best of his ability in the small space, he scrambled out of the car before pulling open the back door. "Okay uh- I'll scoop him out. Can you help guide his wings?" Sam asked as he poked his head in, already reaching toward Castiel. Dean hummed and with some discomfort he held onto the tips of Castiel's wings.</p><p>Getting the unconscious angel, now with corporeal wings, out of the Impala was messy and difficult and there were quite a few swears to be heard, but after many moments of struggle Castiel was being held up by both Winchester brothers, his wings hanging loosely and bloody over their shoulders. After careful deliberation they decided that they needed to get Castiel to the infirmary where they could connect the beds together to form some sort of huge angel-ready bed. They dragged him through the bunker towards the infirmary, his body grotesquely limp as his head hung towards his chest and blood dripped and smeared onto the concrete of the floor. </p><p>Once inside the infirmary, after the struggle of getting down the stairs while hearing the gross wet flop of feathers on each step along with the gentle thud of Castiel's shoes, the two men stood there breathlessly as they inhaled and exhaled deeply. Dean gestured with his free hand. "You move the beds, I - I got him," Dean let out a heavy breath as he readjusted his arm around Castiel's waist. He wanted to rip the stupid thick trench coat from Castiel's body as he shoved his hand around it before gripping at Castiel's side and pulling his weight from Sam.</p><p>Sam let out a, "Yeah," and quietly went to work in his now blood-stained shirt.</p><p>Dean shifted. Castiel felt heavy as he mumbled incoherently. His head lolled towards Dean and he reached out to grip at Dean's shirt weakly, his fingers barely holding onto the fabric as he mustered a slurred, "<em>Deeemm</em>" </p><p>Dean hushed him gently, "Hey, <em>shh</em>. Go back to sleep Cas." He gave a gentle press with his fingers into Castiel's side and Castiel lifted his head up momentarily before falling back into unconsciousness. </p><p>The screeching of the beds being pulled together finally stopped and Sam looked up at Dean as he rubbed his hands on his pants before asking, "Now what?"</p><p>Dean's jaw clenched as he felt Castiel's fingers twitch. His eyebrows were dipped together as he thought out loud, "Probably shouldn't put him on his back. These things look more messed up than he is." He looked at the three beds pulled together in the middle of the room. If they were going to get Castiel on these beds and tend to his wings, they need all points of access. It took up the whole entire infirmary, but Dean and Sam couldn't care less.</p><p>Sam nodded in agreement. In silence, minus the gentle puffs of air that escaped both of their lips, they gently laid Castiel onto his stomach on the middle bed. Dean tucked Castiel's arms under the pillow and helped position his head before the two stepped away to finally look at Castiel.</p><p>Dean could finally take in the absolute horror that was the shredded wings before him. At the base of Castiel's back, blood turned the beige coat crimson. The wings harshly protruded through the thick fabric. Stray strands of thread fell from the rips and jagged snags around where his wings seemingly tore through all of what Castiel wore. The wings themselves laid bent and distorted. Castiel's left wing was clearly snapped out of place as the wing sat crooked with dislocation, sharp bone nearly penetrating through the velvety skin. Feathers on both wings were absolutely missing, burnt down to the tip of the quill. Singed downy feathers now exposed in places they shouldn't be visible, blood making them flatten altogether eliminating their fluffy nature. Some feathers were bent, others had nicks in them. There were chunks of flesh sticking to the broken feathers along with clumps of dirt, ash, and clotting blood. </p><p>Dean had to turn away as he brought the back of his up to his mouth to suppress the urge to gag. He tilted his head as he pressed his lips into a firm line before swallowing the lump in his throat. Sam voiced his thoughts as he peered down at the wings with a look of pure worry as he said, "This - they're completely mutilated -" He ran his hand through his hair speechless as sympathy flooded his veins. He couldn't imagine what all of this felt like, and it didn't look like they were healing like Castiel normally did. Thankfully, any wounds on Castiel’s actual vessel seemed to disappear.</p><p>A low strangled gasp pulled Sam from his thoughts, and Dean turned to face Castiel. He shifted and began to push himself up with wobbly arms. Dean's eyebrows shot up as he raced around the beds to crouch into Castiel's line of sight as he spoke, "Woah Cas. I wouldn't do that." He dropped a gentle hand to Castiel's shoulder, unsure of any injuries he may not see. </p><p>Castiel faltered under the touch. He dropped back to the pillow and Dean crouched even lower to meet Castiel's eyes as he whispered gravely, "Dean?"</p><p>Dean gave a forced smile as he spoke while Sam came around the beds. "Hey buddy. You're pretty messed up right now, so don't move."</p><p>Castiel winced and squeezed his eyes shut as he curled his arms into his pillow. Dark spots pulled at his vision as hot streams of agony trickled through each atom of his wings into his spine and through his vessel. He hummed weakly and Dean crooned softly as he reached out to brush his fingers through Castiel's filthy hair, "Me and Sam are gonna fix you up, okay? Just go back to sleep." </p><p>"I don't… " Castiel's meek voice trailed off as Dean gently pushed tangles from his hair.</p><p>Dean pulled away with a frown as he turned to Sam. "What the hell are we supposed to do?!" He whispered-yelled to Sam as he gestured at the once again unconscious Castiel.</p><p>Sam held his hands up with an exaggerated shrug of his shoulder as he mumbled back frantically, "I don't know - there's no handbook on how to deal with <em>angel</em> wings, Dean!" </p><p>Dean brought both hands up to scrub at his hair as he thought. How do you fix angel wings that look like they've been diced up, put through a blender, and then burnt on scalding coals? How do you fix wings - "<em>Wings</em>," Dean said out loud as if it were the simplest thing. He gestured towards the black lumps on the beds as he explained, "I mean they can't be much different than bird wings? Right?" </p><p>Sam swallowed. He ran his tongue over the fronts of his teeth before he opened his mouth to reply with a sigh, "Bird wings. You're right. We can at least fix the broken one until we know more." Without hesitation Sam pulled his phone from his pocket as he eagerly searched <em>How to fix broken bird wing</em> on the internet. While Sam frantically read instructions, Dean pulled medical supplies from the cabinet. He had no clue what to use, so he figured everything. </p><p>"Okay, I think we clean the area? Stop any bleeding, and then we pop it back in place," Sam listed off as he set his phone on the table. He grabbed a clean cloth and stepped over to the wing. Dean did the same, and they both hesitantly cleaned around the obvious signs of injury. Blood soaked through the washcloths fast, but it appeared it was all old gunk as they cleaned the area around the joint thoroughly. After a quick explanation of bird anatomy, Sam positioned Dean at the front of the bed to hold onto the wing. Sam sent an apologetic look at the back of Castiel's head before he quickly manipulated the wing beneath his fingers, having dealt with multiple dislocations and breaks before.</p><p>A sharp shriek pierced through the air and the wing weakly expanded while the other merely twitched. Lights flickered and off, and the boys covered their ears but the cry of pain was gone as quickly as it was there. A weak murmur fell from Castiel's lips as his wings fell limp again. Sweat pooled on Dean's skin as he stuttered, "Jesus Christ - we're <em>hurting</em> him. " </p><p>Sam ran the back of his hand over his eyebrows as he looked at Dean, "I know. We had to do it though, who knows how long it will take for him to heal. It doesn't really look like his angelic powers are doing anything for his wings."</p><p>Dean frowned. He stared at the feathers for a moment before muttering, "Just what motherfreaking <em>hell</em> is going on <em>anyways?</em>" </p><p>Sam let out an exasperated sigh as he shook his head. </p><p>"Alright, Alright," Dean straightened as he ran his eyes over the destroyed trench coat Castiel was now stuck in. "I don't think we should do anything else. Who knows what we can't see? But… We can at least cut him out of this stupid coat without hurting him?" His question came out exasperated too and Sam nodded and turned for the cabinets. He returned with two large pairs of scissors, handing the butt-end of one pair towards Dean. Dean grabbed them and began to work at the hem of the coat. The fabric was thick and it took significant effort to cut through the canvas, but he slowly made progress down the middle of Castiel's back to meet Sam halfway in the middle. Then, he made careful cuts in the middle to the holes where the wings ripped out from. By doing so, Sam and Dean were able to pull the fabric away without having to jostle either of the wings. They repeated the process with Castiel's suit jacket and button up. The pure white cotton completely drenched in thick blood.</p><p>Once all the fabric was pulled away the sight became even more ghastly. It was hard to tell where Castiel's wings started due to the sheer amount of shredded skin and caked dirt surrounding the base of the wings. The wings burst through the flesh of Castiel's back as if they didn't belong there. Sam openly grimaced as he looked away. Dean reeled back in shock at the sheer horror before him. Not because it was literal fleshy gore, but because it was happening to an angel - his <em>friend</em>. A literal angelic being was never meant to look this horrifying and mangled. </p><p>Dean turned to Sam, his face contorted with worry as he gulped before asking, "What now?"</p><p>"I -" Sam gestured vaguely before his hand fell limp. He was silent for a moment as he peered at Castiel. He pressed his lips into a line as he looked up to the ceiling before sighing as he ran a hand through his hair, "Wait for him to wake up?"</p><p>Dean thought for a moment and then grunted back an, "Yeah." He grabbed at one of the chairs located on side sides of the room before silently walking the chair around the beds. He then rolled over a bedside table before filling up a bucket with water and grabbing some clean washcloths from the cabinet. He sat down in front of Castiel. He dipped the rag in the warm water as he spoke, "I think I'm gonna wait here for a while, but you can wash up." Sam’s shirt was dark with blood, and he looked like he walked out of a murder scene. Dean glanced down at his hands and shuddered at Castiel’s blood staining his fingers.</p><p>He didn't look up at Sam as he said, "Yeah, okay. I'll come check on you guys later, maybe bring some food?"</p><p>Dean nodded before adding on, "and beer, Sammy, can't forget the beer."</p><p>Sam chuckled briefly and shook his head as he left the room. He knew Dean was trying to joke and bright light to a terrible situation.</p><p>Dean let out a deep sigh before turning his gaze to a sleeping Castiel. Blood matted in his hair along with dirt and other things. Dean first cleaned his hands before he rang out the washcloth. He looked at Castiel as his shoulders slouched forward before he gently wiped at Castiel's exposed forehead. He followed the curve of Castiel's eyebrow, wiping away the grime. He cleaned the shell of Castiel's exposed ear and whatever he could off of his cheek. It was a pointless task, but Dean could barely stand to look at the absolute yuck covering his best friend from head to wing to foot. He dipped the cloth again, wringing it out and repeating the process as he calmly pulled dirt from Castiel's hair. Once Dean did all he could have at the moment with that measly rag, he settled his palm in Castiel's hair. He gingerly ran his thumb up and over Castiel's hairline.</p><p>He sat like that for a while. The silence was only broken by the unnatural shifting of feathers every now and then. Eventually, Castiel stirred and Dean froze as Castiel blinked open an eye at him. "Dean?" he murmured, confusion pulling at his features as he tried to sit up. His back felt heavy and there was a dull aching everywhere and he felt sticky and dirty but he absolutely could not will the grime away with a simple snap. The gentleness of Dean's touch pulled Castiel from his unusual slumber, and he looked at Dean with tired eyes.</p><p>"<em>Cas</em>, you're awake," Dean breathed as he pulled his hand away. Castiel let out a whine as he buried his head into the pillow, muttering into it as deep rooted pain made itself known in the base of his wings. "I can't understand you bud," Dean explained. He spoke so gently - so calmly. It made Castiel shiver and peer up at Dean again shyly. He felt his wings contract to his body slightly and he bit back a gasp of pain. He squinted at Dean; his eyebrows pulled together tightly.</p><p>"That bad?" Dean asked, his expression a mirror. </p><p>Castiel swallowed as he tried to save some of his dignity before speaking hoarsely, "Yes." </p><p>Dean scratched at the back of his head as he mumbled, "We popped the one wing back into place, but we didn't know what else to do." </p><p>"Thank you," Castiel replied. He could feel the sticky clotted blood matting to his feathers and he grimaced. The gears turned in his mind, his face wearing a look of careful calculation. "My right one…" Castiel trailed off before mumbling, "Is dislocated at every joint but... they need to be cleaned before anything else," Castiel thought out loud as he glanced back at his wings. His face paled and he had to stifle a cry of heartbreak. From the mere glance he could tell they were in absolute disrepair and he felt his grace ache sadly. </p><p>Dean noticed the drop of Castiel's facial features and worry crawled up his throat as he blurted, "I can help. Just tell me what to do." </p><p>Castiel squeezed his eyes shut before exhaling, "I need to get up."</p><p>Dean nodded to himself as he stood frantically, "I'm gonna pull the bed away on the right. Uh - I don't know about your wing -"</p><p>Castiel simply held it up. The wing trembled as Castiel gripped at the bed frame. It hung in the air wrong - bent awkwardly and painfully. Dean quickly pulled the bed back to its place by the wall, and he watched as Castiel slowly sat himself up, gently placing the wing behind him with the other one as he sat with his scuffed shoes touching the floor. He let out an unsteady puff of air as he reached down to pull the shoes off with a grunt while explaining, "I need to clean them."</p><p>"By yourself? Dude you can barely move," Dean spoke as he watched Castiel tug at his shoes. Castiel set the shoes down gently with a grimace. Every movement tore at his sore muscles. He wiggled his toes before pulling off his socks and laying them atop his shoes. He slowly stood, his legs weak and wobbly, his right wing weighing him down. He staggered in place; his balance compromised. Dean was instantly at his side as he chided gently, "<em>Cas</em>." </p><p>Castiel welcomed the support as Dean wrapped an arm around Castiel's waist. He was cognizant of Castiel's wings as he felt the cool skin of Castiel's side. Castiel leant into Dean, but held his dirty wing away from him as he muttered, "Pants…"</p><p>Dean blinked to himself momentarily before guiding Castiel to the counter. He instructed Castiel to brace himself before Dean fiddled with the button on Castiel's slacks. His mind drifted slightly and he felt his cheeks warm as he pushed inappropriate thoughts away. He tugged at the waistband and pulled them down and over Castiel's hips, letting them pool at his ankles. Dean resumed being a crutch for Castiel and helped him step from the pants. Castiel leant against Dean, clad in only a pair of blue boxers as he mumbled, "Shower." Castiel didn't have the energy to even let Dean strip him completely.</p><p>Dean hummed as he took slow steps with Castiel towards the shower that was connected to the infirmary. The tips of Castiel's wings dragged on the floor leaving behind dirt, blood, and loose feathers. Once in the brightly lit room, porcelain tile reflecting every which way, Dean could see dark red blood coating the feathers. When they stepped in front of the large mirror on the wall Castiel couldn't help the sharp gasp that rattled his lungs as he pulled away from Dean. His face twisted in agony as he stepped closer, peering at his destroyed wings in his reflection. He flexed them slightly through the searing pain that was begging him to stop, seeing and feeling the sheer damage to what labeled him an Angel. His heart wrenched in his chest and his gaze faltered as he pulled the most mobile wing forward. He touched the feathers, a deep grimace painting his features as he muttered grievously, "They're destroyed." Dean remained silent as Castiel turned away from the mirror. He couldn't look at himself any longer as he cast a barely focused look to Dean. </p><p>Dean has never seen Castiel look so forlorn. His heart beat harshly against his ribcage and he ached to scoop Castiel up in a bear hug, but instead he just curled his eyebrows together sympathetically before gesturing to the open shower. It housed a bench and a pull away shower head for easy washing of injured parties. Castiel obeyed silently, his movements stiff as he sat facing away from Dean, his wings falling slack behind him. His body trembled with loss and agony as he squeezed his eyes shut while murmuring, "<em>Why, Father</em>?" </p><p>"Chuck did this to you?" Dean asked as he pulled off his flannel, tossing it on the edge of the sink. He stood behind Castiel in his dark gray undershirt with a look of annoyance pulling at his shoulders.</p><p>Castiel shrugged, his wings mimicking his movement lazily. Castiel let out a low hiss before explaining, "He … it must have been him. No one else can restore wings like this."</p><p>"<em>Restore</em>?" Dean echoed back. The word felt like venom on his tongue. If this was restoration, he didn't want to know what destruction looked like.</p><p>Castiel let out a mere, "Yes." He was too tired and in too much pain to explain the creation of angel wings to Dean right now. </p><p>Dean let out a frustrated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. He'd dig more into that later. He studied the mess of feathers before him and hesitantly reached out to pull a chunk of gunk from Castiel's wings. Castiel inhaled sharply, his back arching with surprise and his wings twitching violently. "Fuck - <em>Sorry</em> - I don't-" Dean stammered as he held his hands away from Castiel defensively.</p><p>Castiel settled with a shudder as he blinked at the wall before instructing, "You must warn me before you touch them." He felt tiny hot tingles of pain shoot up from where Dean's fingers met his feathers.</p><p>Dean licked his lips with confusion before asking, "Are you in <em>that</em> much pain?"</p><p>Castiel sighed and he turned to meet Dean's gaze. "Yes," Castiel admitted. Dean's frown deepened. "And…" Castiel trailed off, his eyes darting around.</p><p>"And <em>what</em>?" Dean pressed. </p><p>Castiel scrunched up his nose as he peered up at Dean. He took in the worry lines of his forehead and the deep frown he wore on his lips as he explained delicately, "Angel wings… Well… you're… Ah… How to put it-"</p><p>"Cas what aren't you telling me?" Dean pressed. He tried to keep the annoyance in his voice to a minimum as he searched for answers. </p><p>"My wings are sensitive. And you're the first human to ever touch them. Angel wings weren't made for human touch, Dean," Castiel said bluntly. </p><p>"I mean I got that they're sensitive - they're pretty messed up -" Dean thought out loud.</p><p>“That’s not -“ Castiel cut himself off. This information was too sensitive for Dean right now, and he really needed his help. Castiel offered him a sad smile as he mumbled, his gaze falling back to the wall in front of him as he mumbled, "I apologize for looking so… <em>unsightly</em>." </p><p>Dean let out a strained, "<em>Cas</em>, shut up. It's pretty awesome you have actual wings. So let's just focus on cleaning these bad boys, okay?"</p><p>Castiel shrugged with a meek, "Okay." </p><p>Dean was motionless for a moment before he cleared his throat. "Some instruction, Cas?"</p><p>"Ah - yes. If you would, remove any big chunks of debris first."</p><p>Dean sighed as he stepped closely before explaining, "I'm probably gonna have to move them around. It's… gonna hurt." Castiel nodded with clenched teeth.1</p><p>So Dean did. He let out a soft, "Okay, brace yourself," before gently pulling at the disgusting chunks of flesh and dirt. He ran his fingers through the feathers, catching the yuck and dead feathers along the way. He dropped the grime into a bucket he grabbed shortly after they settled in the bathroom. He worked as gingerly as he could muster. Every now and then Castiel would wince and hum with pain, his shoulders and wings flexing and pulling away. </p><p>After some time and a full bucket of debris and clotted blood, Dean spoke in the tone of a question, "We should probably wash them?"</p><p>Castiel swallowed and blinked. His wings felt heavy and he wanted to <em>sleep</em>, but instead he instructed, "Yes. If you have dish soap, that will help clean them thoroughly. Dish soap is often used in oil spills -"</p><p>Dean interrupted softly, "You're rambling. I'll be right back." He glanced at Castiel’s wings with a shudder before stalking away to the kitchen. He continued to ignore his blood stained hands. </p><p>Castiel let out a shaky sigh, his feathers shaking and bristling as he brought his fingers up to curl into his scalp. He grabbed fistfuls of his hair and breathed deeply. He felt the disgusting blood in his hair stick to his fingers, and he dreaded standing up to actually shower. His mind drifted to that alleyway. <em>He stared at God with fearful, pleading eyes</em> - He jumped slightly when he felt a fingertip press to the back of his hand, his good wing flaring behind him and bumping weakly into the only bystander in the room. </p><p>Dean let out a breathy, "Sorry," as he gently touched the top of the wing to push it away. Dean was taking this all too well. "I got some soap. Sam said the same thing about oil spills so this should probably be helpful." Dean's tone was hopeful and Castiel couldn't help the small smile pull at his lips.</p><p>"Yes, Dean," Castiel turned to face Dean and held out his hand for the bottle, "You've done enough."</p><p>Dean pulled the bottle from Castiel's reach as he reeled, "Like hell can you clean your own wings, Cas. You can barely move without wincing every two seconds."</p><p>Castiel's face softened as he spoke shamefully, "I can't ask you for more, Dean." His wings pulled closer to his back, mimicking his hunched in shoulders.</p><p>Dean shrugged. "Don't have to, I'm offering. I might not know what I'm doing, but that's why I have you." Dean stepped over the bench to play with the shower knobs on the wall. He pulled the sprayer from the hook and aimed it away from the both of them as he turned the shower on. His shoes and pants were probably gonna get wet, but he didn’t care. All he wanted to do was help Castiel.</p><p>Castiel stayed silent, his eyes searching the side of Dean's face as he watched the man's movements. He watched him test the water until it was at a temperature of his liking and Castiel was grateful as he offered a small encouraging smile before stepping behind him once more. </p><p>"Okay so…" Dean trailed off. The pitter-patter of water on the tile was soothing as Dean waited for instruction.</p><p>"Rinse, lather. Repeat until the blood and dirt is gone," Castiel swallowed, his voice lowering as he muttered, "You'll have to pull out any feathers that look beyond repair." </p><p>"Are you sure? Won't that hurt?" Dean asked as his eyebrows curled up.</p><p>"Yes. They'll grow back." Castiel barely explained as his vision swimmed.</p><p>Dean nodded to himself before warning softly, "Alright Cas, ‘m gonna start now."</p><p>Dean made sure the sprayer was on the gentlest setting before slowly bringing it over Castiel's wing. Castiel took in a sharp breath, his grip tightening on the bench before he relaxed under the warm streams of water cascading through his wings. "<em>Ah</em>," Castiel breathed, his eyes fluttering shut as tension seemed to melt away along with the dirt and grime caked to his wings.</p><p>Dean ran the sprayer over different lengths of the wings, cautiously using his fingers to brush through the feathers. He watched as clumps washed away. Flesh and blood dripped off the ends of Castiel's wings, floating towards the drain in a dark crimson liquid. Dean ran the water over and through the wings once, twice, three times before deciding it was time for the soap. He noticed deep gashes in the wings and around the bases and paid extra caution when lathering soap into the injured extremities. Castiel would hiss and flinch every now and then, his wings twitching and pulling away as Dean plucked damaged feathers from the wing. He muttered a soft, "Sorry," and he pulled a clump of singed black feathers from the lower base. Castiel let out a squeak of pain, his shoulder muscles tightening, Dean bit back his own sounds of sympathy. These were sounds he never wanted to hear. </p><p>Dean thoroughly washed and rinsed through the back of the feathers, his movements calculating and precise. Once he finished the back, he stepped over the bench to stand in front of Castiel. Castiel looked up at him with heavy eyes as Dean explained, "Gotta do the front too."</p><p>Castiel let out a troubled whine as he threw his head back, although he would admit he was starting to feel better as he mumbled, "Yes, thank you." </p><p>It was somehow more intimate as Dean plucked, washed, and rinsed the front of Castiel's black wings. He felt along the bone and the spines of the feathers with such gentleness that it would have felt good if it weren't for the searing pain that radiated from damage previously done. Castiel would occasionally blink his eyes open to watch Dean, to ignore the soapy pink bubbles and lumps of dirt as they flow towards the drain. </p><p>After a while when Castiel was nearly numb from the sheer pain he's been experiencing, he mumbled, "You're surprisingly good at this, like a gentle giant." He inhaled sharply as Dean pulled at some feathers close to the inside of the base.</p><p>"Sorry," Dean mumbled back sheepishly before he turned his gaze to Castiel. He was watching Dean with heavy eyes, blood still caked in his hair and dirt on his cheeks. "Did you just call me a <em>gentle-giant</em>?" Dean scoffed. </p><p>Castiel titled his head before he replied, "It's true." His blue eyes were looking at Dean, but he could tell Castiel wasn't really looking at him. They were dull and distant. They were the eyes of someone who's been through hell.</p><p>Dean offered Castiel a smile before he turned and worked his way through the last of the second wing. It was quiet, save for the gentle dripping from Castiel's wings. The pitter=patter was rhythmic while Castiel stared down at the drain, the water now clear. Lumps of leftover gunk crowded the drain and water pooled slightly as it struggled to flow through it.</p><p>Dean flicked off the shower and blew a raspberry on his lips before stretching in place. He gazed at Castiel’s wings, damp and still sticking to themselves as he finally said, "Finished… With your wings, at least." </p><p>Castiel was quiet as he peered down at his clasped hands in his lap. He feared if he moved, he would crumple to the floor as he mumbled, "Thank you." </p><p>Dean looked at Castiel, and even though the celestial being wore wings that when outstretched would reach at least six feet on both sides, he seemed small - <em>fragile</em>. "How're you holding up, Cas?" </p><p>Castiel let out a soft sardonic chuckle as he tilted his head up to meet Dean's gaze, "I'm <em>tired</em>. I'm still filthy. The pain -" He cut himself short as he watched Dean's face contort sympathetically.</p><p>Dean nodded with an understanding hum. His gaze softened as Castiel continued to peer up at him with unspoken questions. "Do you want help…" Dean trailed off.</p><p>"Oh Dean," Castiel sighed, <em>begged</em> with a trembling whisper, "<em>Please</em>."</p><p>"Okay, <em>okay</em> - it's okay Cas. I'm here," Dean spoke calmly, his voice smooth. He grabbed at the handle of the shower head and turned it back on. The temperature was warm and soothing as Dean carefully rinsed Castiel's hair. Water dripped down Castiel's exposed torso and he shuddered as he closed his eyes. He felt water cling to his eyelashes and soak through his boxers. He was exceptionally vulnerable right now, but it was Dean, and it could only ever be Dean to see him and help him like this. Castiel leaned into Dean's touch as his fingers scrubbed into his scalp. The human delicacy of bathing and massage were so pleasing. He hummed lowly and he could barely stay awake as he heard Dean laugh to himself. Dean rinsed down Castiel's back, and he could now see where Castiel’s wings connected to his shoulder blades. </p><p>Dean washed and rinsed Castiel as if it were second nature. When he was done, he brought Castiel some towels and a pair of his sweatpants and boxers. Dean had to help Castiel into those, his balance wavering as one wing continuously fell limp. It wasn't weird, or odd, and it wasn't like Dean hasn't seen Castiel naked. That one time he landed on his car, naked, covered in bees will forever be seared into Dean's memory.</p><p>Once clothed, at least on the bottom, Castiel sighed, his wings still damp and dislocated. The bleeding has ceased, his grace working slowly to repair what it can. "Okay, should we take a break?" Dean asked as he toweled at an exhausted Castiel's hair. They moved back to the infirmary. Castiel sat on a vacant bed while Dean stood in front of him. He gently rubbed the towel in Castiel's hair before tossing it aside. Castiel's hair was an absolute tousled mess and it made Dean grin before he ran his fingers through it in a mock attempt to tame it. Castiel hummed as he reached out for Dean, pulling Dean closer as he buried the side of his face into Dean's stomach. Dean let out a confused puff of air as Castiel snaked his arms around him, squeezing him as he breathed in deeply. "Cas?" Dean laughed out softly as he watched Castiel's good wing pull forward slightly.</p><p>Castiel hummed and mumbled something, his fingers feeling every fiber of Dean's shirt. He pulled away to look up at a confused Dean and he merely said, "For endorphins." The intimacy of letting Dean groom Castiel's wings made the bubble of fondness within him only triple in size.</p><p>Dean scrunched up his face as he replied, "Right, <em>endorphins</em>… okay feathers. You're still all discombobulated so no gettin' comfy yet."</p><p>Castiel's face fell as he remembered his extremities. The small reminder caused the dull ache to become more apparent and he shuddered but agreed, "Yes."</p><p>Dean patted Castiel on the shoulder before stepping away, "I'm gonna grab Sam. This is a two-man job." </p><p>Castiel didn't reply as he watched Dean step up the stairs and disappear through the doorway. He turned his gaze to the left and slowly brought his wing to his side. Gaps where feathers used to be made him frown while he gently pet his own wing, feeling for damage Dean may have missed. His feathers were dry now, but they wouldn't look fluffy and alive until he could fan them out properly. He frowned. They still looked and felt horrible. With time they'd surely heal, but Castiel knew there'd be outlasting damage. Damage to the thing that was the only unique quality about him.</p><p>Sam and Dean entered the room, their feet thudding as they came down the stairs. Sam offered a small smile to Castiel as he greeted, "Hey Cas."</p><p>Castiel returned his gaze with a weak smile. "Sam," he nodded slightly.</p><p>Dean looked between the two before speaking slowly, "Look… the faster we get this done…"</p><p>"The faster you'll heal," Sam added on, his expression apologetic as he glanced at the crooked wing. </p><p>Castiel sighed and he motioned to his right. "The workings are similar to bird anatomy, afterwards, my wing should be bound." Castiel shuddered in his spot. He wasn't looking forward to the restriction. Sam and Dean both nodded. They both stepped up to Castiel to resume their spots around him before starting their work. </p><p>The harsh pop of joints made Castiel inhale sharply. Every moment was agonizing as his bones creaked and craned within him. The grasp of four human hands on his wings was emotionally overwhelming, and his head was spinning as another sick pop echoed through the room. Castiel panted amongst quiet apologies from the Winchesters. He couldn't see them. His eyes were screwed shut as he grasped fruitlessly at the sheets of the bed, his knuckles white as pain burned through his body unforgivably. When the last sickening pop shook his core, Castiel let out a long-drawled breath, his wings and shoulders drooping drastically as all his energy melted away into the concrete beneath him. </p><p>Castiel could barely process Sam's voice as he directed Dean with gentle hands. He felt the ghost of fingertips and soon soft bandages wrapping and binding his wing in place. They wrapped and wrapped and the pressure was just as uncomfortable as it was relieving. Dean's voice barely drifted through his ears as he called for his attention, "Cas, hey buddy," </p><p>Castiel turned bleary eyes in the direction of Dean, not quite seeing. </p><p>"We gotta wrap this around your chest too, arms up," Dean directed. Castiel lifted his arms up weakly. His body trembled as he tried to focus on the gentle press of fingers and bandages around his chest and wing.</p><p>He didn't notice them stop, and flushed when he heard Sam speak softly, "You can relax now."</p><p>Castiel dropped his arms down heavily before he finally opened his eyes to peer up at his nurses. He offered a crooked smile as he breathed, "Thank you. I feel -" Castiel exhaled through a burst of pain, his smile tightening, "much better."</p><p>"You're a horrible liar," Sam teased, his words holding no malice. "Get some rest Cas," Sam said. He reached out and gently squeezed Castiel's shoulder before exiting the room quietly. Guilt hung over his shoulders. </p><p>Dean stood in front of Castiel with his arms crossed. Castiel simply peered up at Dean with his head tilted to the side. Drowsiness was kicking in as he counted the freckles on Dean's nose. They are pretty. "Are you finally gonna explain what happened?" Dean asked as he shifted, his eyebrows scrunching together with newfound worry. </p><p>Castiel eyebrows twitched together sadly as he let a puff of air through his nose while he shook his head. He had to pause, the simple movement making him feel dizzy on all planes od existence and he rubbed his eyes as he murmured, “I –" His breathe hitched in his throat as he remembered.</p><p>
  <em>“I like you, Castiel.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Castiel shifted on his feet as he peered at the figure in front of him, unsure of a response.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why do you think I’ve brought you back so many times?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Castiel opened his mouth, but Chuck held a hand up. He peered at the wingless angel in front of him. </em>
</p><p><em>“I remember when you were born – well, of my creative devising of course, but your wings at the time – their color – oh, you were such a cute lil’ fledgling. I remember how the other fledging stared at their brother. Black wings, so majestic even in their small form.</em> <em>You’ve always been different. I knew from the start even since I laid eyes on your wings.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Castiel stood straighter as fear began to creep up his neck. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re important to the story, my story, I need you at your best.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Chuck smiled and Castiel’s back started to ache. He tumbled to the ground as he gasped, “What are you doing?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Giving you what you’ve prayed to me for.”</em>
</p><p>Tears brimmed Castiel’s blank eyes and he could barely hear Dean’s voice calling for him.</p><p>“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Dean cooed as he stepped closer to Castiel. “Cas, buddy. It’s okay now.” Dean reached out and squeezed Castiel’s shoulder as he leant into Castiel’s gaze.</p><p>Castiel blinked and turned his gaze from Dean as he mumbled, “I’m tired.”</p><p>"Alright, alright," Dean clicked his tongue before adding on, "I'll grab some blankets -"</p><p>Castiel's eyes widened as he spoke, "Not here. No…" His eyes drifted to the blood-red wash cloths and buckets of flesh and feathers. </p><p>"<em>Oh</em>," Dean let out before looking at Castiel sheepishly, "Up in your room then." </p><p>Castiel nodded and stood weakly. His knees shook and feathers twitched. Dean was at his side in no time as he snuck his arm around Castiel's waist. Castiel staggered even with the added crutch. He was so <em>tired</em>. </p><p>The walk to his room felt like an eternity as Dean murmured gentle words of encouragement. Castiel was too aware of how Dean's fingers curled around his side, his body warm against his. His voice was smooth and it made Castiel's eyes droop heavily as he leaned closer to Dean. "We're almost there," Dean murmured as he took the brunt of Castiel's weight. He wouldn't be so heavy if it weren't for the wing dragging and falling behind them. </p><p>Once at Castiel’s door, Dean used his free hand to open it. He flicked the light on before leading Castiel to his bed that was <em>rarely</em> used. When Castiel blinked his mind back to reality he let out a soft moan as he pulled from Dean's grasp to crawl onto the bed. He curled his arms around the pillow and was asleep in a mere instant. Dean's shoulder's fell slack as he let out a deep sigh, running his hand through his hair as he peered at the angel. He gazed at the black wings, his eyes twinkling with curiosity. Realization finally hit him. Castiel had his wings back. A smile crept onto his face as he reached out to touch the wing. His fingers barely brushed it and Castiel let out a sleepy whine as he curled deeper into his pillow, his wing sluggishly pulling from the touch. Dean’s lips witched into a frown before walking out of the room, flicking the light off as he murmured, "Sleep well, Cas."</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Comments are welcomed and I hope you check out my other works :D</p></blockquote></div></div>
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